Today was a little better - it's funny how that happens when you least expect.  It wasn't a good day - as it was another day reliving the nightmare of the year before.  One year ago, I saw Tash in a casket for the very first time, after waiting from Saturday night until Wednesday to see her again, all the while knowing she was being kept in some refrigerator, surrounded by strangers.  oh, the things that can drive a mother crazy.  Even now, when I think about it, I come close to a panic attack. 

Stepping away from this for a moment, I read some of the emails I still have from a year ago.  It's amazing how many people stepped up to hold us in their arms, their thoughts and/or their prayers during that time.  We were blessed and continue to be so blessed by such a wonderful group of people.  Most have stayed - continue to check in - drop by - send cards - and anything else they can do for us.

But, that's all I can think about for now - because it has now passed the time of the visitation and it just hurts too bad to write about it for now - it hurts too bad to think about it - some things just cannot be processed -

I miss Tash - and after tomorrow, I will have to face the fact - AGAIN - that I will never have any new memories - new pics - or any "news" with Tash again -

I love you, Tash - always have - always will - I love you more....