MAKE IT HAPPEN

MAKE IT HAPPEN: Surrender Your Fear and Take the Leap Live on Purpose BY Lara Casey

 

In this book, Lara Casey urges the reader to step out of his comfort zone and to begin living with purpose.  The book is an action plan for taking back one’s life and beginning to really live, not just exist.  It includes questions to get started with – kind of like a workbook and links to motivational tools to help along the way.

This book is so motivating and inspiring.  Lara Casey includes steps of her own journey, including the ones she took backward.  It challenged me – as I read through the questions to answer, I often found myself stumped, finding myself so buried in the “stuff” of everyday life that I realized I was missing out on purposeful living.  Pushing through the activities, setting goals and starting on a plan that is biblically supported is exciting and inspiring, as evidenced by Casey’s own story.

I would definitely recommend this book to others, especially if one is at the point of wondering what’s next.  If one is looking to get out of the rut in which he is living, to step out of the rat race, to move social media to the backseat of life, this book is for you!

Limitless....

 

 

This grief is so unpredictable.  One of the worse things it does for us bereaved parents is to implant fear.  Sure there are the unanswered questions it leaves - but, for me, the fear is worse.  I used to not be scared.  But, now, I find I am scared of almost everything - people, crowds, decisions, new experiences, traveling, leaving the house, getting up in the morning and, as usual, the list goes on. 

 

 

I discover new fears every day - as always, grief is the "gift" that just keeps on giving. 

 

 

Most days, I am able to push through the fear now.  But, there are still those days where the fear wins - not as often as in the beginning - but, it's still there.  In the beginning, I seldom got out of bed.  I ignored the ringing phone.  I missed appointments - I skipped work.  I was just too afraid. 

 

 

Now, some days, I can see the sun...feel the hope....

 

Before Tash died, I always had insecurities, but, never the time to dwell on them.  I was too busy being Tasha's mom.  Between being "one of those" teachers who was on 24/7 and keeping up with Tash and her illness, I seldom had the time to look in the mirror, let alone contemplate my shortcomings.

 

 

But, now, having lost Tash and left my job, I have nothing but time to contemplate anything and everything - and with a nonstop brain, it is a full-time job.  I question EVERYTHING!  I cannot make a decision to save my life - what shoes will I wear?  What is for dinner?  What is my purpose?  Is the sky really blue?  The question and its importance - or lack of - doesn't matter - I simply struggle to make a decision these days.  I made all the decisions when it came to Tash and her healthcare - and look where that got me. 

 

So, here I am, struggling with the woman in the mirror.  I think I like her - but, she is definitely a work in progress. 

 

Now, that I have time to think, I see ALL my flaws and they are so numerous that they are paralyzing.  But, I know with time and work, I can come to terms with most of these.  Everyday, I work to get closer.  The work is never easy, but is it supposed to be?



 

So, I get up each morning, I make myself a cup of tea, I meditate and do my best to have a productive day.  I have learned not to feel guilty about doing things for myself - for taking care of myself - and, most of the time, I am okay with that.  I miss knowing what my purpose is and I am working to find a purpose now that I am no longer just "Tasha's mom" or a teacher.  I am learning to like my own company - I am learning to say what I think without worrying about the judgment. Much of it is strange and uncomfortable, like it is not my skin I am living in....but, it is forward movement and that is something to be thankful for.

 

I am learning that I am enough....

 

NAMASTE....