It's been months since I have published anything personal. I continue to write daily, but when I read back over what I have written, I often see it as too personal to share - too depressing to share. But, I am still here. I am pushing on after a rough couple of months. But, YES, I am still here!
It's been 199 weeks, 4 days, 19 hours and 53 minutes since my daughter took her last breath. We are getting close to four years - and, I have said it before - feels like yesterday - feels like 100 years ago -
But, as the holidays get closer, I would just like to encourage those who know a grieving parent to reach out to them...make a phone call...send a card...invite them to lunch...JUST REACH OUT!!! There is nothing that means more than another human reaching out to you when you are grieving your child. I have been blessed by incredible friends and family who have never left me alone. But, then there are those who turned their backs and/or walked away. It has been amazing to see who has stepped into their places and carried me through some of the worst days of my life.
I know in our society we do not often know how to acknowledge grief - it makes us uncomfortable, as if it might be contagious. But, the expectation of a grieving parent is low - all it takes is a kind word, a free ear and/or a hug to remind them they are still vital and there is still purpose. This is especially true of as we often lose our purpose when we lose our children. I was always Tasha's mom - and a teacher - those are the two things that defined me. I know I am still Tasha's mom - but, without her here, I realized I had no thought of who else I might be and I am still figuring it out.
SO, as we enter the holiday season, remember the grieving parent - she/he is often wearing a mask with a smile - trying to make others feel comfortable - while screaming with pain on the inside. Please be patient with us - we are fragile - our wings have been broken. Make that call - extend that hand of friendship - you will not be sorry, for a grieving parent never forgets the kindness from those who reached out ---
NAMASTE
