January 7 was Tasha's 3rd Angelversary...

I learned a lot that day - I learned that I have to accept that people are letting go - forgetting - moving on.  Oh, I knew they would - I REALLY did!  But, I was not ready for it, though.  But, now, I know and I have to make some decisions...

- I have to make my peace with the fact that people are moving on.  I'm not sure how I will do that yet - but, I will.  There will probably be a lot of meditation and counseling in my future to make this happen.  After all, isn't that the one constant in life?  It goes on...

- I do NOT have to let go!  I can move forward with my life without letting go.  I can include Tash in my life and I can do so without guilt.  Sure, that might thin the crowd some, but, I am willing to take that chance.

- I cannot be mad at people who forget the date.  How many of my friends have lost family members and I did not do any more than send the perfunctory card?  I did not pay attention to the date and often didn't give it more than a thought or two after I had sent the card - UNTIL I lost Tash! Now, I still send the card - but, I remember the dates - I make the time to check-in - however, I still don't make those phone calls.

- I cannot control the world - only my little corner of it .  And, sometimes, I cannot even control that!  But, it is time to start to relax (My blood pressure demands that!) and to let go of the things I cannot control - and there are many.  I made a list last week - but, that will have to come at a later time, before I get too off-track here. 

So, this year, I will not focus on the 44 people who RSVP'ed for Tasha's balloon release - I will not focus on only the 14 who showed up (although, I love them for their effort and love!).  I will try not to focus on the people who forgot what the day was (with the exception of my sister - she does not get a pass!).  As I read back over that, I realize I have a lot of work ahead of me! 

So, my goal for the year is to love those that remember, treasure them for giving their time, their love and anything else that comes my way.  Holding on to the rest is a waste of everyone's time.  I love Tash - I always will and I know her friends family did, as well.  But, life does go on and I am willing to let them live their lives - I just hope that the time never comes when they don't think of her every once in while - may she dance through their dreams now and then - may they get that feeling of deja vu every now and then and it take them back to a memory of Tash.  Just to hear her name keeps her here...and, if it has to be, I will be glad to be the one singing it from the treetops. 

NAMASTE.....