Advice for the Grieving....

How many times are we given advice about how to grieve???  I am here to tell you that there is NO ONE RIGHT WAY TO GRIEVE!!!!  I am sure you have figured that out. If you're anything like me, though, sometimes you question yourself after receiving some of that well-meaning advice. 

I've been doing some volunteering with hospice and I think I learn so much being there. I've learned there are so many ways to grieve and so many ways to show love. After Tasha died, my sister-in-law made my bed every day while she was here. It seems like such a small thing - but, it was huge to me - and, it was such a loving thing to do. It's those little things that carry us. I wish I could have learned this without losing my daughter. I feel better about a lot of things since I have been volunteering there. If I could give you any advice, it would be to step out of yourself and your grief for one day - volunteer some where, read to a child, drive for Meals on Wheels, sit w/an elderly neighbor, mentor a high school student - ANYTHING!!!!  Start small - one hour every couple of weeks!  I promise it will make a difference. I know Hospice isn't for everyone - but, it's been a wonderful experience for me. It gives me the opportunity to focus on someone else's needs and that is a blessing! 

Never doubt where help can come from - be open!!!! My dog is having problems and will not be with us much longer. Unlike the sudden loss of Tasha, I have time to prepare to lose Jake. I am reading books about animal loss and the grief that accompanies it. (I'm a reader - an information collector - after Tash died, I read every book I could get my hands on!    Not much of it helped, but just like when Tash was sick, being informed helped me cope.) I think I have learned more about grief from the books on animals than I ever did in any of the other books I have read. Soooo, BE OPEN - you never know where you will find something to ease your pain. 

Today was another good day - no tears - thoughts of good memories filled my mind when I thought of Tash. As I spend time w/Jake, I'm reminded of all the good times Tash had with her animals through the years - how much she loved them. I'm thankful for this day - for those memories. I'm thankful for the twenty-seven years I had with Tash - I am thankful for all the laughs we shared. I'm thankful that I was blessed with her!!! 

NAMASTE