THANKSGIVING...

I cannot believe that next week is Thanksgiving.  It doesn't see possible that I haven't heard her voice since January - haven't hugged her - haven't touched her.  But, then again, it feels like yesterday.  Last week, I was listening to advice from other bereaved parents about the holidays.  The one thing that they kept saying over and over was: DO NOT PRETEND YOUR WAY THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS.

I hadn't even realized that was an option.  But, after thinking about it, I figured out that was exactly what my plan was to get through the hard days ahead.  I was not doing it consciously, but, I was still doing it. SO, now, that I realize it, it is a new kind of hurt. 

I have made a list that I will use to get me through the holidays - it will not be easy.  It will make it so much more real that she is never coming back - that's what these holidays will do.  I will do my best to get through them and remember her.  I will find a way to honor her memory and keep her name alive in the minds of others.

- I have bought a candle and will burn it at family get-togethers - it is beautiful, like Tash and etched with a special saying and her name.
- I will adopt a couple of children for Christmas and give them gifts in Tasha's name.  (She will still be making a difference.)
- I am making a lot of gifts this year and my Christmas cards - to keep my hands busy and my mind occupied.
- I am going to take 20 minutes for myself every day.
- Most importantly, I will work VERY hard to keep my should have's & ought to's to a minimum.

My plan is longer - but, these are the things that I will start with for now.  I think that is all we can do as bereaved parents - a little bit at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time and when those things are too much, we can back up and take it one second at a time.